Sexual compatibility isn't a score you either have or don't. It's how each of you approaches intimacy – pace, novelty, closeness and how you talk about it – and how those styles meet. Answer for yourself, then compare with your partner's result to see how your two styles fit.
No percentages, no verdicts. Differences are ordinary – what matters is how you handle them.
More about this quiz
Written by Andrea Leijon, Founder of Temple
Sexual compatibility is not a score you either have or don't. It's how two people's ways of approaching intimacy fit together: how fast each of you warms up, how much you want the new versus the familiar, whether closeness or the body comes first, and how easily you talk about sex. A sexual compatibility test for couples can't tell you whether you're meant to be. What it can do is put each person's style into plain words, so the differences stop being a mystery and become something you can talk about. Research on couples points the same way. People who believe good sex is built through effort report higher sexual and relationship satisfaction (Maxwell et al., 2017), and people who handle a desire mismatch together with their partner report more satisfaction than those who cope alone (Vowels & Mark, 2020). This test gives each of you one of four styles – The Hearth, The Current, The Trailblazer or The Open Book – and every result page explains how your style fits with the other three: what tends to work, what to watch for, and one thing to try. Take it on your own, send it to your partner, and read your pairing together. There are no percentages, because no honest test can produce one.
Most compatibility tests for couples end with a number: 73% compatible, a green tick, a red flag. The number is the least trustworthy part. A percentage would imply a precision nobody has established for how two sexual styles match, so it would be invented. What research does show is narrower and more useful: the way couples talk about sex, handle differences in desire and think about what makes sex good is linked with how satisfied they are.
The styles come from four things that vary a great deal between people: pace (slow warm-up or quick start), what feeds desire (closeness, the body, novelty or clear communication), how you react when something isn't working, and what you do when one of you wants sex and the other doesn't. The Hearth opens through closeness and safety. The Current starts in the body and moves fast. The Trailblazer is fed by the new. The Open Book opens when things are said clearly. None is better. Each has a real strength and a predictable blind spot, and each of the six pairings has its own easy parts and its own friction.
"A difference in how you start is rarely a verdict on the relationship. It is usually just a difference in where each of you starts."
Desire ebbs and flows, both within one person and between partners, and people differ naturally in how easily they are switched on and off (Mark & Lasslo, 2018; Bancroft et al., 2009). A gap in desire is one of the most common reasons couples look for help, and in one study of 229 people, those who dealt with it together with their partner, by talking or doing something together, reported more satisfaction than those who coped on their own (Vowels & Mark, 2020). That's the idea behind the 'how you fit' section on every result: not a verdict on whether you match, but a plain description of how your two styles tend to meet and how to make that meeting easier.
Temple builds its tools on the same premise. Compatibility is less something you find and more something you practice: saying what you like, making room for a different rhythm, and being curious about a partner's way in. The test gives you the words to begin.
The research in numbers
What you'll discover
Key concepts
Sexual compatibility
How well two people's ways of approaching intimacy fit together: pace, appetite for novelty, need for closeness and way of talking about sex. Not a fixed trait – research suggests treating it as something you build is linked with more satisfaction.
Desire difference
When one partner wants sex more, or at different times, than the other. Researchers call it desire discrepancy. It is common in long relationships, and how a couple handles it is linked with how satisfied they are. In a study of 133 couples, a bigger gap predicted lower sexual satisfaction for women and lower relationship satisfaction for men, though the gender differences within couples were not significant, and the authors pointed to the couple's interaction rather than one partner's desire (Mark & Murray, 2012).
Responsive desire
Desire that shows up after closeness, touch or arousal has begun, rather than before. Described by Rosemary Basson in a model of women's sexual response in long-term relationships.
Sexual growth beliefs
The belief that good sex is built through effort and communication, as opposed to 'destiny' beliefs that it comes from finding a compatible partner. Growth beliefs are linked with higher satisfaction.
Frequently asked questions
What is sexual compatibility?
Sexual compatibility is how well two people's ways of approaching intimacy fit together – their pace, appetite for novelty, need for closeness and way of talking about sex. It isn't a fixed trait: research suggests people who treat good sex as something they build together are more satisfied than people who treat it as a matter of finding the right match (Maxwell et al., 2017).
Can a test really tell whether we're sexually compatible?
Not in the sense of a verdict. A test can describe how each of you tends to approach intimacy and show where your styles meet easily and where they need translation. It can't predict whether a relationship will last, and this one deliberately gives no percentage.
How do we take it as a couple?
Each of you takes the test on your own and answers for yourself. Then compare results: every result page has a 'how you fit' section for each of the other three styles, with what tends to work, what to watch for and one thing to try. The test never links two people's answers – you do the comparing, together.
What if we get different results?
Different results are ordinary and not a bad sign. Two people with different styles can have plenty to offer each other as long as they talk about the differences. Your result page describes what tends to work and what to watch for with each pairing.
Why is there no compatibility percentage?
Because any percentage would be invented. No study has measured how compatible couples are on these four styles, and research on couples points to how differences are handled – for example, together rather than alone (Vowels & Mark, 2020). We'd rather give you honest descriptions than a number that feels precise and means nothing.
Is sexual compatibility fixed?
No. Desire ebbs and flows within one person and between partners (Mark & Lasslo, 2018), and styles shift with stress, life stage and the relationship itself. Treat your result as where you tend to start today, not who you will always be.
What if one of us wants sex more than the other?
A difference in desire is common and is one of the main reasons couples seek help. In one study of 229 people, those who dealt with a mismatch together with their partner, such as by talking or doing something together, reported more satisfaction than those who coped alone (Vowels & Mark, 2020). The Current and The Hearth pairing on the result pages touches on this.
Is this a substitute for couples therapy?
No. It is an educational tool, not a diagnosis or treatment. If sex is painful, or you are in distress about your relationship, a sex therapist or doctor can help, and nothing on this page replaces that.
Can I take it without a partner?
Yes. The test is about how you approach intimacy, so you can take it alone. If you're not in a relationship right now, answer for the way you tend to be, and use the 'how you fit' sections to think about what you'd want from a future partner.
Explore more
Recommended course
Exploration
Temple's second course — reconnect with your sensuality and your playful self.
Explore the course →Informed by research on sexual communication (Mallory et al., 2019), sexual communal strength (Muise, Impett, Kogan & Desmarais, 2013), desire differences in couples (Mark & Murray, 2012; Vowels & Mark, 2020), the Dual Control Model (Bancroft et al., 2009) and sexual growth beliefs (Maxwell et al., 2017).